Great Great Grandpa Olson

As Jackson has gotten older he has really enjoyed our Saturday visits to grandpa. I know grandpa enjoys them too. Its been interesting to see the change in my grandpa. When we were first married (almost 5 years ago) we started going weekly to see him and my grandpa was pretty particular in how things should be done, where they should go etc. But ever since Jackson was born I have seen him "loosen" up a bit. Honestly, my kids can do no wrong to him. He just says, "Let them be! They need to explore!" Anyways, Jackson loves playing with grandpa and grandpa plays right back. He lets Jackson stack toys up on him and will sit there holding them for him and until he comes back. Its rather quite amusing. A couple of weeks ago, Jackson even had grandpa coloring with him. Then Kenadi decided to color with them too. It was so cute to see the three of them coloring together.

Mom, Mom, Mom!!!

Some days, I hear Mom way to much and by the end of the day I am tired of having my attention called to minute things that don't really matter. For instance, getting my attention to look at Jacksons foot. Anyways, Monday I had cleaned ALL day! Like deep cleaned every last corner in my house. I was exhausted by the end of the day so we went out to dinner. On the drive over (its like 5 minutes) Jackson would say, Mom, Mom! So Id turn around and ask him what and he would just look at me or make a noise, this happened probably 30 times. Andrew was laughing pretty hard by the time we got to the restaurant because Jackson just wanted to make sure he had my attention. So we get to the restaurant and are sitting down and again, seriously every 10 seconds Jackson would get my attention for no reason! I was going crazy! Then we finally get our food and Jackson decided that he would show me every bite of food he took before he took it. Andrew and I were laughing so hard by the end of dinner because it was a little ridiculous. If I didn't look when Jackson said my name, he would just keep saying it until I looked. At one point, we told him to say dad instead. Yeah, that worked about 1 time and then it was back to mom. Oh the life of a mom. I'm glad he loves me and wants my attention but it would be nice to just have some quiet for a minute. Thankfully, he is not in a "mom" mood today and is happily playing in the couch pillows (I hate when he does it, it makes the room feel so messy, so I turned my back so I cant see it).

Photographic Genius!

Not much has been going on around here. It has been pretty cold so we have been hanging out inside playing and cleaning and taking pictures. Jackson LOVES to take pictures! Andrew thinks I should start a blog of all the pictures Jack takes. Seriously, the kid will get ahold of either the camera or my phone and go around taking pictures of different things. Then he'll say, Mom, mom!! CHEEEEEESE! and takes a picture of me. Of course he does that to Adi (Kenadi) too and she is more than happy to oblige! She is such a ham and loves her picture taken. Here are some of the photographic works of Jackson:

Yeah, I know, hes pretty much a genius haha!

Snow, Snow, Snow!

During Christmas break we had tons of snow! When I say tons, I mean 59" tons just in December! Actually in one day we had 26" fall. See

Jackson LOVES playing in the snow!

Kenadi and I stayed under the carport for the most part.

Andrew was still shoveling the driveway and it was already starting to be covered up.

This picture is for Bobbie so she can see how much snow we have left. It isn't entirely accurate now because Saturday night we had another 2 inches fall, but its pretty close!

  And now some videos of the kids in the snow.

 

Sing me a song...

he's the piano man! The other day, Jackson sat down at the piano and started playing. Well, soon, he started making up a song with it. Hopefully you can hear him, he's saying mom, dad, adi (Adi is Kenadis nickname).

Need a smile?

Watch the video of the kids playing. This was taken a couple of weeks ago just before bedtime, thats why Kenadi is naked. She ran away before getting her pjs on. They play this game all the time.

Finally posting this...

LOOK BELOW THIS POST FOR A VIDEO OF KENADI TRYING TO WALK

  2 months after Kenadi was born, I wrote a post about our experience with her from more of a more emotional aspect. I haven't been able to post it as of yet, but since her birthday is coming up it has been on my mind more (obviously). Last night we put up a video of Kenadi trying to walk and saw videos of her in the hospital, it made me remember that I really need to put this up, someday Kenadi will be old enough to read this and I want her to be able to. Its super long and you really DONT have to read it.

Since Kenadi was born I have been thinking a lot about our life and the many blessings we have seen. Usually I dont post things like this, but someday when I decide to spend the time and money to print our blog I really want this in there. I want to be able to remember all the emotion and little things that happened with Kenadi as well as all the blessings we have seen. I want our kids to be able to read this and know that if you follow the direction you receive from Heavenly Father, life will work out. Just a warning this will probably be really long because it goes back to a year ago.
  Last year  when Andrew graduated from BYU we had our life figured out. We were going to move out of Utah hopefully to Medford. Well, no jobs were posted in Medford so he started applying in multiple places, mainly Idaho, Utah, Colorado and Oregon. At one point a job opened up at Pleasant Grove high school, where he had worked as a paraeducator. We were really excited and were hoping he would get it because he knew the other special ed teacher and lots of the staff already. Well, for reasons unknown at the time, he didnt get it. We were really bummed. He got multiple offers from different schools but none of them felt right. He then got an offer from Wasatch High. We thought it sounded pretty good but we had to let them know within 24 hours if he was going to accept it. Holy Cow! 24 hours?! Do they not know we are the  most indecisive people ever?! Anyways, I remember Andrew calling to tell me (he was still working nights at UVU) and saying, pray about it and get back to me. Okay..so I pray and get the strongest feeling he should take it. Really? Are you sure? Heber?? So I seriously prayed about it all night and kept getting the strongest feeling that he needed to take it. Andrew came home from work and I told him, you need to take it. He said he was still going to pray about it and that I should to. I already had the answer but told him I would. He came home fromwork and said he was going to take it. This was one of the hardest decisions for us to make. We really did not want to stay in Utah and then for him to have a job up in Heber, should we move up there or stay down here? Anyways, he accepted the job and we were really relieved to at least know where we were going to be.
  About a month later, I found out I was pregnant. Yeah, talk about the shock of the century! We were so glad that we knew that Andrew had a job with health insurance. We later found out that had he gone to work for Pleasant Grove High School they had a 3 month waiting period on their health insurance. That would have meant we wouldn't have had health insurance for 3 months or we would have had to buy some for that short period. Boy were we relieved. About a month after we found out I was pregnant, Andrew gets called to the singles ward bishopric. Really? We kept debating about whether to move up to Heber, but decided with Andrews calling and with some issues with my last pregnancy, it would be best to stay here and for me to keep my dr since she knew my history and I really liked her. Since we knew we were having a baby in March (thats when my due date was) we decided to set up a cafeteria plan to help pay for the delivery and what not. So glad that we did! About the time when I started into my second trimester, I started having a feeling that something was going to go wrong. I wasn't sure what, but I knew something was going to happen. I thought that it was going to be with me. The feeling was so strong some days that it was overwhelming. Andrew gave me multiple blessings (probably one a week during my final trimester because the feeling was so strong some days) and each time I was assured that any problem that would arise, doctors would be able to fix. I admit, I was sometimes very frustrated with this answer. I wanted to know for sure that nothing was going to happen, we were both going to be fine. Obviously that was not the case, but both Andrew and I had the reassurance of every blessing that even if something were to happen, we knew it would all end up okay.
   Okay, fast forward to when Kenadi was born 2 months ago (it seriously feels like so much longer sometimes). I remember going to my doctors appointment hoping she would tell me that she would induce me that day. All weekend I had felt crummy so I was hoping I was more dilated. I went in and she was debating about whether to check me or not. She was debating because if Kenadi was still breech then checking me could cause me to go into labor which we didnt want to happen until we could turn her but when she felt my belly from the outside she said she really felt like she was head down. She decided she better go ahead and check to see where we were at. Well, sure enough Kenadi was head down and I was dilated to a 5, but Kenadi was still really high. My dr was really surprised that I was that dilated and not in active labor. Anyways, we decided it would be best to be induced that day because it is not very safe to walk around that dilated with her head still high in fear of cord prolapse. Thankfully we have such great friends who were able to take Jackson on a moments notice. Emily was already watching him for my doctors appointment. I called Andrew and he met us at the hospital. He had had an inkling that I would go in that day so he had prepared his class for that.
  Anyways, we meet Andrew at the hospital and Emily keeps Jackson for us. I get admitted at about 11 and off we go. They start the pitocin and we wait and wait and wait. I was hoping it would go pretty quickly considering I was starting out half way there. Well, the contractions were going but I wasn't going anywhere. I stayed at a 5 for about 4 hours. I had already had an epidural because the contractions were intense! I can't remember exactly when, but Kenadis head had finally dropped and my dr broke my water. A little while later Kenadis heart rate starting dropping everytime I had a contraction. They kept watching very closely as to what was going on. I started laying on my side and having extra oxygen and that seemed to help. Then, I started to get really crampy in my pelvis. Like horrible crampy pains despite having an epidural. I had Andrew push the little button that gives extra medicine but it wasn't working. He ended up hitting it about 3 times and it just wasnt working. Everything else on me was super numb but I was still having intense pain. I explained it to my nurse and she said that it could be because Im moving really fast so she checked me. Nope. No progress. Maybe 5 1/2. What?! She then said that she could have the anesthesiologist come and give me a bollus of the medicine. Yeah, we better do that if this is going to go on forever. He came in about 5 minutes later and took the pain away. But Kenadis heartrate was dropping again. We tried switching sides and nothing was working. So they decided to do an amnio infusion. Basically they put water back in the uterus so that the cord isn't being squished. Well, my nurse gets everything prepared and is starting it but decides to check me one more time before doing it. She looks at me and says, "Well, I know why you were in pain. You're at a 10!" Like a half hour earlier I was still at a 5. That explains it. So they call my doctor so we can deliver this baby. And Kenadi was born in 3 contractions. Yep, thats right, only 3! It was about 15 minutes total. She is born and she doesn't really try to cry. She made kind of a whimpering sound and sounded like a little kitten. I remember we were kind of laughing at her cry because it was so pathetic. They call in the NICU team to look her over. While they were in the room they thought that she had fluid in her lungs. They decided to take her to the NICU to look her over. Andrew followed her over to watch what was going on. We weren't concerned at all at this point. We figured they suction her lungs, watch her for a few hours and then shed be back with us. Jackson had to go to the NICU too for a couple of hours so thats why we were thinking nothing of it. My doctor finishes up with me and then said that she was going to go check on Kenadi. I said okay and sat in my room by myself with some snacks and turned on the news.
  A little while later, Andrew and my doctor walked in. I was immediately scared because I see Andrew in tears and my doctor clearly distraught. My first thought was that Kenadi had died, but then I remembered the blessing and knew that she wasn't going to die. Andrew walks to my left side, my doctor to my right. She turns off the tv and sits down on the stool. She then explains to me that Kenadi is doing alright, but she has a diaphragmatic hernia. I can't remember all that she was saying. I do remember her saying that she would be life flighted up to Primary Childrens and she would have to have surgery. She said that as long as I do fine that night she would release me the next day to be with Kenadi. She said that the neonatologist would come up as soon as he could to explain it all to me and he would be able to answer any questions better. She said I dont know why it wasn't caught! She sat for a moment longer but I could see her eyes welling up with tears and at that moment she said she was going to go to let us have time but would check in on us later. Lets just say at this point tears were coming no matter how hard I tried to hold it in.
  At some point, the neonatologist, Dr Stoddard came in to talk to us. He was very kind and grabbed my hand to explain everything. He explained that the reason she has to go to PCMC is because they have ECMO and he isn't sure that she'll need it but she may and so she has to be up there for it. Plus all the surgeons are up there as well. I remember him looking straight into my eyes and just telling me like it is. I appreciated that. I wanted to know exactly what was going on without any sugar coating.
  Andrew was such a trooper and even though he was in lots of pain too, he took charge and called the people who needed to know to let them know the situation. I was so distraught I couldn't even talk. I wont forget him pacing around the room trying to explain what was going on all the meanwhile he was trying to talk through his tears.
  Finally, after what seemed like forever, they said they would take me down to see her before shes life flighted. I was still super numb so Andrew and a paramedic student who had watched the delivery, lifted me up and put me in a wheel chair so that I could go down and see her. We finally get down to her and there is already tons of equipment surrounding her. Her little body is really swollen, she is already ventilated, sedated and paralyzed. The life flight crew was already there preparing her to go. Dr Stoddard went through and explained each machine and what they were doing for her as well as the medicines she was on and why. He then took me to the computer to show us the x-ray. He pointed to the right side and showed where her heart and lungs were squished and then everything else wasn't supposed to be in there. He said that at this point it did not look like she had any left lung at all but they can't be for sure until they operate. I remember as I heard that that I kept wondering what her life would be like if she didnt have that lung. No sports? No physical activity at all really? But it really was one of the least of my concerns at that point.
  Andrew stayed with Kenadi and I was taken to the recovery room. My nurse was great and told Andrew not to worry about anything up in the room. She would gather it all up for us. I can't say enough about the nurses I had. They were all so wonderful and caring. That night was very long for me. Emily and Dylan came with Jackson. It was such a relief to see Jackson. Andrew and Dylan debated about going up to PCMC but by the time she was finally checked in and everything it was about 10 pm. They offered to take Jackson with them but we decided that it would be best for Andrew to get a good rest and sleep at home with Jackson. There wasn't anything anyone could do for me and I kind of just needed some time alone. After everyone had left my night nurse came on shift. She came in and already knew that Kenadi was up at PCMC and asked me if I knew how she was doing. She said that she had a baby that had been in the NICU so she could understand a little of what I was feeling. She gave me the biggest hug and just hugged me for awhile and cried with me. That was the best thing anyone could have done for me at that point. I tried to sleep here and there but couldn't really. It was hard to hear the babies crying and know that mine wasn't even in the hospital. I kept the tv on so it would hopefully drown out all the hospital noises but it didnt always work. I remember I had to go to the bathroom so bad but kept putting it off, finally I get up to go. When I came back I realized I had missed a call from Primary Childrens. Really?! I have sat here for how many hours and then one time I get up I miss the call. That kind of gave me a laugh but made me mad at the same time. It was 1:00 in the morning and Kenadis admitting neonatologist was calling to get permission to put her on ECMO. Once again, I don't remember all that he said (such a recurring theme from the first little while) but I remember him saying that they have tried everything else and feel that this would be the best for her. He said they would call when she is done. I didn't know at the time that being put on ECMO is a surgery and everything that it entails. I wait and wait for hours but there is no call. Finally talking to Andrew on the phone, he decides to call. He calls and calls me back and says that she is doing as good as can be expected.
  The next day Andrew and Jackson come. My parents are on their way as well as Andrew's mom and brother. The three of us hang out for a little bit and then Emily comes to get Jack. She watched him for us for the day so we could get things figured out with Kenadi. My parents and Nicole come to the hospital. We visit for quite awhile waiting for my doctor to come. She finally comes and sends me on my way. We had to stop at the house quickly for a few things but then head up to PCMC.
  We get up there and before we can see Kenadi, we have to fill out paperwork. Random papers that did not seem very important. I remember being slightly irritated because I was so anxious to see her. I was also nervous because I had no idea what to expect. We finish the paperwork, wash up and get to go in to see her. Talk about a shock! There were still quite a few people around her and so many machines. We go up to her swollen body and there is a tube, iv or sensor in every little part of her it seems. Dr. Yost came in and explained everything that was going on. He explained the ECMO and why they have to do that. He also said that he believes that she has a fairly good chunk of left lung (thats exactly how he always said it). He was one of the few that believed that until her surgery. Dr Null (the director of the NICU) also came in and talked to us and see how we were doing.
  The first week is pretty much a blur. I felt like I was in a daze and that none of that was really happening. I just remember randomly breaking into tears. I remember how hard it was to see Kenadis things and know that it would probably be months before she got to even use them. It was so hard to walk into our bedroom and see all of that. Every night for probably the first 2 weeks it would bring me to tears. Waiting for her to be off ECMO seemed like forever! It was so hard for me to be in there with her. I know alot of people did not understand why I didnt like to be in there and it wasnt until I talked to another girl whos daughter was on ECMO (she came in about the 3rd week that Kenadi had been in) that I realized that I wasn't the only one who felt that way. She said that she felt the exact same way. It made me feel less guilty about not being there as much the first week-week and a half. I really can't explain in words why it was so difficult. I think part of it is that I did not want to accept the reality of what was going on. Part of it also was seeing her that way. No one should ever have to see their child in that state- even though it was what was best for her, it was horrible to see. One day, she was being "good" so she wasn't as heavily sedated. I remember her looking at me longingly almost in a way of asking me why all this was happening. I still sometimes see that face and it breaks my heart every time. It was really hard because I felt like I was constantly being judged on how I was handling the situation. I don't think that there is a wrong or a right way to do something, and sometimes we all have to handle things differently to get through them. Do I wish I had spent more time with her in those first few days? Yes, I do, but at the time it was too much for me to handle. It wasn't like I wasn't there every day. I went every day to see her when she was in the hospital. Sometimes only for a couple hours but most of the time all day.
    Finally, we get the news that she was coming off of ECMO! So exciting. I was so anxious for her to be off of it but so nervous that maybe she needed more time on it. During the surgery they also put in her central line. For the first 2 weeks it seems like something would come out only to be replaced with something different. Then it was waiting for surgery. First it was going to be Sunday, then Monday and then finally Tuesday. Then waiting for the surgery to be over with seemed like eternity. The surgeon didnt even come tell us that she was done and how it went. That was frustrating! Luckily we had good nurses who gave us updates on everything that happened. After the surgery happened she started getting better. It was hard because some days everythign would stay the same. They wouldn't change any medications or anything so it seemed like we weren't making progress.
    The day that I got to hold her was the best day ever! I was so worried I would hurt her because she had so many lines in and her incision from her surgerys were still healing, but it was the best moment. It had been a long time coming. I think it was about 2 weeks before I got to hold her. The next best moment was hearing that she got to go home! A day I had been waiting for for 29 days!
    The month that Kenadi was in the hospital seemed more like a year, but now it seems almost like it never happened. There are still scars to remind us of everything she has been through, but unless you see them you would never know what she has been through. It is still hard for me to think of her birth and everything that proceeded afterwards. I still get envious when I see pictures of moms holding their babies for the first time. I have yet to have that moment. I mean, I did get to hold Jackson for literally a second before he was taken to the NICU, but to have the first moments when they are first born would be priceless to me.
   We are very grateful we were at Utah Valley. Had we moved up to Heber they may not have caught it. We were told that often times in smaller hospitals, the doctors dont know to check for diaphragmatic hernias. They caught it quickly and she was up at Primary Childrens within about 3 hours of being born. We really believe that this is part of the reason she was able to do so well. We realize that had we moved to Medford like we had wanted to, she would have either gone up to Portland or down to Stanford both of which are hours and hours away. Had we taken any of the other jobs that Andrew was offered, she would have been brought to Primary Childrens or had we been in Grand Junction (we really considered a job there) she would have been taken to Denver. We were so grateful that we lived close enough to stay in our home and keep some sort of normalcy for Jackson. We were grateful that both of our parents were able to come out and help us. We were grateful for all the out pouring of love that we saw from everyone, including people we didnt know. And everyone who prayed for Kenadi. We know that this is how she was able to be healed so quickly.

Kenadi Walks

Well, only a couple of steps. Earlier in the evening she took about 3 very solid steps and then I grabbed her, but she is on her way. Here is a short video of her taking 2 steps- it was later in the night so she was a little more wobbly than she was earlier.

Milestone

Last night, we were getting the kids ready for bed. Jackson had gone to the bathroom just a little bit before we put his diaper and pjs on. Well, about 5 minutes passed and Jackson turns to us and tells us he needed to go to the bathroom. Andrew got him all undressed and took his diaper off and Jackson went off to the potty. Sure enough he had to go and better yet, his diaper was dry! I feel like this is a huge breakthrough! He no longer wants to go in his diaper! Wahoo! Not that he wears a diaper very often, only for naps and bedtime but this means we are slowly working our way towards completely diaper free (Im too scared of the messes that could arise when potty training for naps and nighttime so I haven't tackled that yet). Way to go Jack! We are so proud (can I brag and say he is only 27 months old and potty trained! Wahoo for us!)


Okay, now I need to add a kind of funny/stressful story about Jackson. Last Sunday, Andrew and I were speaking in church. (Yeah, the counselor called us the night before Christmas Eve, how nice of him to give us such good notice). Anyways, we always take Jackson to the bathroom right before we leave for church and then he is usually good until nursery. Well, we are sitting in Sacrament meeting singing the hymn for the sacrament. Jackson comes up to me and taps on my leg saying, "Mom, mom mom mom!!!" I tell him that we are getting ready for the sacrament and he needs to be quiet. (He is usually really good about being quiet for the sacrament and will sit and watch it being passed). Anyways, I didn't think anything of it, but was slightly annoyed that he was being so rowdy. Well, not more than a minute later after the prayer is said, Andrew realizes that Jackson peed his pants. He was trying to get my attention because he needed to go to the bathroom poor kid!!! I felt so bad. Well, Andrew rushes out of Sacrament and runs him home to change. He hurried as fast as he could because he knew I was the first speaker but there was a musical number before me. Well, I am sitting there, not knowing that he ran Jackson home to change, sweating bullets wondering when he is coming back because the musical number was almost over and I was supposed to speak and I still had Kenadi. So I weighed my options of taking her up with me, but then I saw the million things that could go wrong with that, then I saw the relief society president a couple of rows in front of us thank goodness! I decided I would see if she would hold Kenadi for me. Thankfully she was more than willing (everybody LOVES Kenadi in our ward and thinks she is the best, probably because Kenadi smiles and waves to them). Just as I hand Kenadi over to the Relief Society president Andrew walks in. Kenadi sat with the RSP just fine and our talks were pretty much the best talks ever lol. But boy that was a stressful situation and I felt so bad for not listening to Jackson!!

Happy New Year! Good Bye 2010!

For New Years, Emily and Dylan came up to party with us. We did our usual eat lots of food and play video games (we've done this for the past 4 years now). It was a blast and Andrew found a new toy he wants- Xbox 360 with Kinect. Anyways, how lame am I? I forgot to take pictures! Bummer..oh well..we had a blast hanging out with them. Its been forever.

I think 2010 was kind of a rough year for everybody. Sure some exciting things happened for us. Kenadi was born (exciting and super stressful!), Andrew completed his first year of teaching (wahoo!), we went on vacation to Oregon and Colorado (and are sure looking forward to this summer), moved to Heber (LOVE it!), and Jackson turned 2.

I am looking forward to a better year for 2011. Somethings I'm looking forward to, Kenadi turns 1 (next month!!! more on that to come), Andrew's and my 5th anniversary (holy cow! So much has happened in 5 years!), summer vacation!, Andrew turns 28 (10 year high school reunion, 2 years until he's 30!), Andrew will graduate from his masters program, Kenadi will start nursery, Jackson will turn 3, and I will turn 25! (umm, a quarter of a century old?!). We will have to see what else 2011 will bring. Hopefully this year it will be all good things!

Happy New Year everyone!